Remember when I said I only had one more terrible chapter left in the book to revise? Guess what! I was wrong. It’s just like that part in Baten Kaitos: Origins where Sagi and his pals battle Wiseman. The group gathers to face him, thinking that they’ve got him beat.
Then Wiseman surprises them all by holding up the first draft of his novel. The party recoils upon witnessing the raw force of his cheesy plot ideas.
What? It’s not like you’re going to go play the game to prove me wrong. 😉 Continue reading →
This chapter was satisfying to write. I love it when I have no clue how I’m going to fix the mess I’m stuck with and then BAM–it hits me. Well, it wasn’t quite like that this time. More like sitting in my apartment for two days mulling over possible ideas and having them all slowly congeal into something amazing, but whatever! The garbage of the first draft has been transformed into glittering gems! Now the climax can truly begin.
To ease you into the following, thrill-packed chapters I have enclosed a less-exciting picture of five floating continents firing laser beams at the lair of the Dark Brethren:
Oh wow. Once again I am stunned at how much work needs to be done to clean up a chapter. This sucker needs to be razed with a purifying flame and swept from the earth. I think there’s like ONE joke that I want to keep.
I mean this is the FINAL match and I did nothing to capture any feeling of excitement. No air of tension–it’s all ruined by characters making pointless asides. And then all the worst ideas I’ve ever had decide to show up in one place and have a parade. Just–ugh–read it yourself. If you must. This is for learning, remember. Continue reading →
I got two more downloads on the first Abandonment Party today! That brings the total readers up to twelve. Oh baby, you know what that means: PRICE HIKE!
Let’s see; I have some complex calculations to make. There are millions of people that can read English, right? Then I factor in my book’s supply–being digital it is almost limitless. So, with a rate of demand at two per month, I project that in ten years my novel must be sold at a price of one cent.
Hm, it seems as if a finale is coming up. What should I do about that? Oh–that’s right! I need to spend a chapter reminding everyone of that fact.
Look–it’s a pacing thing, alright? “Calm before the storm” or whatever. Now I don’t want to spoil my own book. I’m not saying that things will get so chaotic later that this will be the last chance for the characters to sit and have normal discussions. That the excitement of later chapters will reach such a critical level that you will be left gasping for breath as you are swept away in a CURRENT OF PURE AMAZEMENT AAAAAAAAAH IT’S GOING TO BE SO THRILLING WHAT AM I DOING STILL TYPING THIS INTRO!?!
In this chapter Dark is set to face off against his friend Mean in the last semi-final match of the “Two Lives to Play” tournament. As I stated before, something bizarre happened as I wrote the first draft on this scene.
You see, in my head I had it all planned: Just before the match Mean would find out that Gamemaster Kello had seen Dark’s face. It would be a tournament rule; to prove his armor wasn’t remote controlled or something. This would make Mean FURIOUS that Dark revealed his identity a stranger, since he’s refused to show his face to his friends–and even to her.
And I thought that would be an awesome conflict. Dark would step in the ring, clueless, and then Mean would just be standing there, silently RAGING. Then boom! The match would start and Mean would just knock Dark to the ground. She’d tear the ring apart with her magical fury, pinning him down with the rubble. Ooooh-it was going to be dramatic! She’d be crushing him and he’d be saying other dramatic things to get her to stop. What an amazing spectacle it would be!
But the unthinkable occurred: What I wanted to happen didn’t happen! Instead, I wrote a friendly match full of sportsmanship and fun. It’s as if the characters themselves subverted my will; acting on their own to shape the story. A hateful battle would go against the friendship I had built, so it just didn’t take place.
I think that forcing a confrontation wouldn’t have worked for the plot anyway. So thanks, imaginary characters! I’ll let you off easy–this time.
Hm, I do believe I’m half way through this book! Time sure flies when you’re moving sentences into different paragraphs and then writing detailed blog entries about how you moved that sentence into that paragraph.
I’ll be throwing a party for myself to celebrate, of course. Just come to the Jack-in-the-Box restaurant on Jungerman Road at 2 P.M. I have reserved their finest booth for all three of my fans, including a spot for Jack himself of course. Continue reading →
Well shoot. Besides reworking the end with Zenny I only had minor adjustments to this chapter. And yeah–I decided to cut her in-person appearance out for now. Matt begged me not to, but I know that sacrifices must be made. Don’t worry, man; if we ever get stranded in the tundra somewhere, you can count on me to decide who gets cannibalized first.
And besides, this omission will no doubt make the next chapter that much more hilarious. You’ll see! Continue reading →
In this chapter Parlay got serious. And you know what the most serious instrument is? A bell! Time for dinner! Someone’s at the door! You need to revert to your hidden persona and use your magical conduit to blast someone! Yeah! That’s what bells mean. Continue reading →
I forgot almost everything that occurred in this chapter. Well, not the plot; I remembered the events. The dialog is what slipped my mind. And it wasn’t even bad dialog! I think it’s great! So what happened? Sure, I usually forget details in other books and shows–but I was the one that created this, so shouldn’t I remember it all?
Hm. I suppose that could be good in a way. I was worried that I would be bored reading my own books since I assumed I would never be surprised by anything. But guess what? I was! Read the notes at the end if you want; I wrote them in real time as I re-read the first draft.
Except the comment about the guns. That amazing joke took me a day to think up. Continue reading →