Abandonment Party 2: Chapter 14 (Second Draft)



A rousing holiday! A death in the family. Cousins, long-lost! Does any of that happen in this chapter? Of course it doesn’t. This stuff happened to me last week.

The death was my grandpa, Albert Smith. I won’t talk about it much here, but there’s something that I notice people thinking at funerals: “I wish I had more time to spend with him before he died.” I think it’s a natural thought. I don’t think it’s thought to dwell on, however. After all, when you love someone do you ever really stop to say “I’ve spent enough time with this person! They can die now.”

I know I don’t think that. Even if you sit down with the soon-to-be deceased and discussed everything on your mind you’d still be craving more when they’re gone. Now, does this have anything to do with my chapter, here? Hm, maybe it does. Then again, it could just be about two women smacking each other around and sitting in chairs. Continue reading

Abandonment Party 2: Chapter 15 (First Draft)


My friend Matt told me that he was getting a bit confused reading the drafts together like this. I think it’s good in a way; it means that there is a noticeable difference between the two. On the other hand, the details that I erase or add are all getting mixed up in his brain. They’re like parallel dimensions and he’s jumping between them.

See, isn’t that cool, Matt? You’re like that Quantum Leap guy! Or the Bioshock Infinite dude! You should be thanking me for making your life so THRILLING!

Continue reading

Abandonment Party 2: Chapter 13 (Second Draft)


I’m just going to outright say that I’m pleased with how Trisk’s conversation with Tenny turned out in this draft. It’s a romantic scene. And if I’m an authority on anything–it would be on romances that are troubled, awkward, unrealistic, or flat-out doomed.

You see, although I am single I have experienced the quiet talks in the dark that frequently occur before a relationship begins. It’s one of the most memorable times, I think. And no matter how things end up with the other person, it is something I never forget.

Because it can be the start of something dream-like and wonderful. It can also be the death of your lofty expectations.

Have fun guessing what’s going to happen to these two! 😉 Continue reading

Abandonment Party 2: Chapter 14 (First Draft)


Okay. This is good. From what I can see this chapter doesn’t need too much work. There are adjustments to be made here, sure–but they’re my favorite kind. Conversations!

I spent most of my life not having conversations with anyone, you know. The only people I talked to were my brother and friends and the psychiatrist that tried to figure out why I couldn’t speak to other people.

I think that might be why I love writing dialog so much: it’s something that’s always perplexed me. I would see individuals speaking with each other with such apparent ease. How did they do it? WHY did they do it? Conversation may not be as strange as magic, but it still has a fantastic quality. I’ve learned that people are always using their imagination when it comes to speech, thinking “if only I would have thought of saying that” or “I wish I had the guts to speak my mind.”

Through writing I get to have all the conversations I want. I can say outrageous things. Audacious things. It’s wonderful. 😉

Continue reading

Abandonment Party 2: Chapter 12 (Second Draft)


Tornados! Birthdays! Friends that need moved into new houses! Those things happen, and they DEMAND my time. Will I let that stop me from writing my chapters!? NO! NEVER!

But will they stop me from coming up with an elaborate intro for this post? Ha! Of course they will.

So just go back one post to the first draft of chapter 13. Read the speech I put there, pause to wipe a tear as it moves you, and then come back to this. Continue reading

Abandonment Party 2: Chapter 13 (First Draft)


Chapters like this remind me why I like writing so much. Here, I was faced with another situation with the character Templetine. I couldn’t think up anything to define his character in the first draft, so I just used my “B.S. Method” to move the story along. “No problem” I say to myself. “I have months before I need to think of anything.”

But guess what? Those months went by. I got all the way around to this chapter again and I hadn’t thought of anything new. THEN! A few weeks ago an idea hit me. Something that worked and expanded upon the factors that were already in place. I was on my way to the shower or something and I just continued to pace there, pondering that wonderful, amazing idea that had escaped me until that very moment.

THOSE are the moments I live for. Those moments when I realize that the crappy parts of my story CAN be fixed, and that something better will rise up from it.

I probably should have saved that speech for the next blog entry where I actually show you the idea, huh?

Continue reading

Abandonment Party 2: Chapter 11 (Second Draft)


Are you ready for more talking!? Are you ready to watch magical invertibrates roll around in numerous flames!? Yeah, I thought so!

In this chapter I use two locations from the first book: Stone Rory Refuge and Hilo Water Plaza. Like “Cot’s Bar” from before, these places were empty in the future. Desolate! Vacant! But now, to reward the three people that read the first story, I will reveal what these locations were like in the past! Yes, that’s right, Matt. No need to strain your imagination any longer. Brad his here to save you. Continue reading

Abandonment Party 2: Chapter 12 (First Draft)


Twelve begins where the second draft of 10 leaves off, making it a great base for the new chapter 11. That means that the two draft’s chapter numbers will be out of synch from now on–but hey! It just means I’m doing my job and slicing out all the crap to make the story more concise. Continue reading

Abandonment Party 2: Chapter 11 (First Draft)

IMG_1170Well, this is going to be short. There’s no point in going over the “choice edits” here; everything in this chapter has been incorporated into the second draft already. I’ll just continue on and review chapter 12, which will become chapter 11 for the second draft.

I will put the entire chapter up after the break, though; I want the first draft to be complete for anyone that wants to study it. I’ve heard that the creative writing classes at Dartmouth college have already added this site as mandatory reading. They had to toss out George Orwell to make room for me in their curriculum, but I’m pretty sure we’ve learned everything there is to know about Animal Farm. Continue reading