First off, I have to admit something to Kim: You told me that using ‘less -ing words’ would help my writing and it did. So instead of “She entered the room, kicking the dog aside,” I’ve been putting “She entered the room and kicked the dog aside.”
Zounds! No more mixing tenses! I’ve SEEN the LIGHT!
In this chapter Tome reveals the horrible truth about Droldragia and the wicked monster that was sealed within. Only one man can venture back into the zone to face the beast! That’s right! It’s Darklord! And just to make sure I know it, Kim has written his name in the margin of her critique countless times!
Yes, every time I call him “Dark” in the narration Kim reprimands me with a note that reads “Darklord.” I still don’t see a problem with calling characters by their nicknames but Kim got this idea somewhere and she is NOT letting me forget it.
But let me get to the critique highlights. Kim hasn’t sent me a new chapter in a while and I don’t want her to get scared off by my endless whining. Continue reading →
As we reach chapter three I see that Kim seems to have little problem with Tome and his long monologues of exposition. He explains everything about how magic works and Kim doesn’t get furious with me at all! Of course I’d like to attribute it to the fact that I saved the information until after the reader was hungry enough to digest it.
But we aren’t here to discuss what I did right now are we? Let the literary spankings begin! Continue reading →
In this chapter Mean and Dark meet Mackaba. He’s an enraged police officer that has something in common with my friend Kim: They both start off calm, but if something sets them off–watch out!
Ha,ha, I may joke around about Kim’s harshness, but let it be known that I’m the one that invited it upon myself. It’s just like those anime shows where the friendly rivals duel. They’re always saying “I won’t accept anything less than your best!” And I know that in order for my writing to improve it must be forged in the flame of a thousand blazing Ka-me-ha-me-has!
As Kim continues to critique my book, you may be wondering: Why would Brad ask for her help? Does she even know how to write?
The answer is yes! Kim wrote a book and I’ve read it. And she’s working on, like, twenty others. But as I read her novel Caged I noticed that her style differs from mine. Her main character’s thoughts are often expressed in italics every once in while. This helps clue the reader in on the protagonist’s thought processes and motivations.
And while it fits my friend Kim, I do not like to do this. I want the reader to wonder about characters’ motivations and come to their own conclusions. I also want to try to create a moment of Fridge Brilliance. That is, something that appears as a mistake at first. But, upon further reading or during a ponderous trip to the can, turns out to be justified after all.
So let’s find out: will Kim be fooled by my tricks? Or will the mistakes be legitimate? (I’ll probably have examples of both.) Continue reading →
As you can no doubt tell from the graphic, my friend Kim took me up on my offer to critique my books. And she’s pulling no punches. Her daughter drew this picture to embody the furious judgment her mother is administering to my unworthy tomes.
I wish you could see it. There are words stricken through, punctuation highlighted with fierce disapproval, and comments in the margin as far as the eye can see. These comments shed some light into her critiques, so I’ll put the best ones below along with my responses. Will Kim’s critiques be acknowledged? Or will they fall on deaf ears? The roasting begins! Continue reading →
Zounds! I’m back! My friend Matt told me my blog was getting stale, so of course I ignored him for three months before doing anything. But the time has come to post here again!
Now, don’t assume I’ve been doing nothing. I have been working on the third draft of Abandonment Party 2: Beyond the Abandoned Party (Working title subject to change.) I’m on the last chapter, even! Unfortunately, the changes I made to the draft weren’t quite “blog-worthy” as it were. Swap a word here; move a sentence there–super uninteresting discussion-wise. So let’s talk about the new Castlevania Netflix show instead!
That’s right; there’s no chapter this time! It’s all review and discussion for the latest Star Trek film! And that would be Star Trek Beyond: the third installment with the rebooted crew of the NCC-1701 Enterprise. Zounds, what a glorious future of storytelling we have in front of us. I can’t wait for reboots of Picard’s crew, Janeway’s crew, and Sisko’s interstellar baseball team. Continue reading →