Alright it’s time to talk about Avengers: Age of Ultron! Spoilers! Continue reading
Alright it’s time to talk about Avengers: Age of Ultron! Spoilers! Continue reading
I’ve attended two parties last month. Now, I’m not much of a “socializer,” but during these events the topic of my writing usually comes up. And while I could talk all night about storytelling methods and semicolon uses, most people don’t give two poops about that.
“Brad, you need to go to a publisher!” “Brad, some guy sold a million copies of his book on Amazon!”
Stuff like that. “Get famous” stuff. I don’t really care about that, but something did come up that caught my interest: book covers! I need one, and my cover is still terrible! But leave it to Matt’s brother Stephen to give me a lead.
He told me of a place where I could find someone to illustrate a cover for me. Check it out: Deviant Art Job Offer Forum!
Do you see that? People just put up a job and these guys come running! Character design, book covers, logos–they do it all! Some of these guys don’t look that great, but others seem pretty amazing.
But that got me thinking: man, how come there’s no place like that for me!? Why isn’t there some bulletin board for writers!?
JOB WANTED – I require a written tale where multiple characters smash each others’ faces in with gravity powers and massive glass sheets. Also: explosions and giant, hairy monsters wrestling each other.
Does a place like that exist!? Somebody throw me a bone, here!
Now this one is a long chapter. And not because of some epic, singular, event–no; it’s because there are still so many groups of characters out there! What do I do with them? How do I make them all work for the story? First draft isn’t the time to figure that out! I just have to shove it all in.
And after all this there are STILL characters that aren’t where they need to be. Now is this a problem? No. I’ll figure out the correct pacing the next time around. It will be super-fun. I can cut characters; I can ‘consolidate’ events. But for now––enjoy! It may be a disorganized mess, but it’s still entertaining! Right, Pascal from Tales of Graces?
Short chapter; I think it’s the perfect time to answer some mail from my fans. What do you mean I tried this before and it didn’t work!? Nonsense! Look, here’s a message from the princess of Hyrule:
Curses! I can’t think of an intro again. What am I supposed to put here!?
I do have a fascinating list of fictional teleportation devices, but that goes AFTER the chapter.
I suppose I could answer mail from my millions of fans––but I can’t find any letters! What’s wrong with you guys!? Are you intimidated by my “e-presence?” Is it because I forgot to put my address up on the site? Is it because you only exist in my imagination?
That’s it! Imagination! That gives me an amazing idea! I’ll try to put this plan into action the next time I post.
It’s December again! That means it’s time for the holidays! Who has time for writing stories? After all, I have too many presents to beg for. And it takes forever to decorate my apartment with the two thousand paper snowflakes I collected from children while working at the daycare.
No, what am I thinking!? I must find time to write! I MUST! But I need some extra motivation this time of year. And you know what motivates me to write? Besides the endless fame and millions of fans, that is. Yes, that’s right! I need to look at other stories for inspiration! Fiction! For instance, I just went through my comic collection again. There’s noting like watching Superman “wrassle Metallo for the umpteenth time” to get the creative vibes going.
Not wanting to gorge myself on one medium, I went to see a film, too. It was the third part of the Hunger Games trilogy. And you want to know what I thought of it? Are you ready for my own in-depth Mockingjay: Part 1 review?
I went to my cousin Kaydee’s wedding two weekends ago. I usually think weddings are dull, but at least it wasn’t another funeral, right? And I do have fun seeing my bizarre family. The only annoyance I have is hearing the same thing that every unwed person gets asked at a wedding: “So when are YOU going to get married!?”
And someone ALWAYS asks. It doesn’t matter that I say I want to be single. I also haven’t had a date in years. And yet family members always bug me about it. I can endure it, though. But I feel that I need to help out other singles that may be more sensitive to such demands. So I’ll start by telling you married people that asking “when are you going to get married” isn’t always an encouraging thing to say.
Yes, I am speaking to married people now! I know it is difficult for you to understand; after all, marriage has somehow worked for you. But that is your reality; us singles may not have the experiences you do. For instance I heard an amusing story at the wedding. My cousin said she didn’t like her future husband when she first met him. She said he kept asking her out and she refused. But she finally gave in! Oh ho! And of course she learned to love him after many persistent advances! Ha,ha,ha! What a nice story! It must always turn out like that, right?
No it doesn’t. And rejection paints quite a different picture. Where the married person’s persistence is seen as sweet in retrospect, there is a version of the story where that persistence failed. And when it fails the same persistent actions are labeled as “obsessive,” or “weird.”
So you can perhaps glimpse why the “JUST KEEP TRYING!” advice doest fly. But what’s that? You still can’t grasp the situation? Let me attempt to visualize it for you, marriage-lover; let me attempt to show you the reality of failure. Imagine your spouse for a moment. And take all those fanciful stories of how “things just worked out” and toss them all in the trash. Imagine what would have happened if your spouse rejected you. No chance of reconciliation–they just decide to give up and leave.
But it doesn’t end there, not when we have this wonderful online world. Because you get to watch as they marry someone else. As they go on to say how wonderful their lives are; how blessed they must be to have met such a person! A person that isn’t you. And then you get to watch as they have the children you wanted to have. Am I making sense? Have you pictured it well? Well just imagine it happening again! And again. And again. And how infuriating it is––after all that––to have to hear someone ask “Well why haven’t you gotten married yet!?”
I realize that it’s difficult for a marriage-lover to visualize this. Because another thing I hear at weddings is “I can’t imagine what my life would be like without him/her.” They admit it right there: “I can’t imagine.” And if you can’t imagine a different perspective than your own, well, I suppose you shouldn’t be telling other people how to live their lives now should you?
And that’s all I can ask: that you try to put things in perspective. That’s what I’m doing every time I attend a wedding, after all! I try to imagine marriage as something beneficial for the people getting “joined,” even if I don’t believe that it is the path I should personally take.
Now let’s get this chapter started! I wish I could tie in my rant with the story somehow, but it’s probably just about monsters fighting again! 😉
Happy Halloween, to whomever discovers this blog! Did you take a wrong turn on the internet, traveler? Were you looking for some innocent fun? Ha! How unfortunate for you; this sloppy first draft that you have discovered is a nightmare chapter of no repose!
COWER! As two hideous monsters battle each other to the death!
TREMBLE! As awkward exposition doesn’t really explain anything!
PEE YOUR PANTS! When I don’t end the chapter on the one cool line uttered!
THEN CLAW OUT YOUR OWN EYEBALLS as everything drags on with pointless dialog!
Oh, is that not enough to scare you? Well listen to this:
I had a cyst surgically removed last week! FROM MY BUTTOCKS! BWA, HA, HA, HA, HA! Pics after the break. Continue reading
Hm, I can’t really think of a cool intro. I guess I’ll get right to the chapter and save my commentary for afterward. After all, if I’m going to use up a lot of time I might as well use it thinking about the actual story––not some blog intro. Oh, wait, here’s a picture taken out of context from Tales of Xillia 2; I still have enough time to waste on that!
As I get further in this story I’m realizing that I enjoy having more characters around. In the first book I had––what? Nine characters that were the main focus? And Vornis didn’t show up until the end. Back then if I wanted something to happen I had to make it work with just those few.
But now–! Look at this! I have many more characters to use! So many possibilities! Take this chapter for example: I’m having someone familiar show up just to see what happens! And also because I was going to put him in earlier but forgot, ha,ha.
This is why I’ll never understand those stories where half the characters die. Don’t those writers like having options? You can always make a character leave if they aren’t working out. “Put him on a bus” as those trope guys like to say. Or in Tyle’s case he actually came back on a bus.
That reminds me: I really should make a “cast of characters” page or something. Don’t let me forget to do that, Matt. Continue reading