My site had a malware warning on it the past week. And do you know why? The WordPress theme I was using was being targeted by hackers! Can you believe that? They must have been using “Weaver II” as a stepping stone to infect my Abandonment Party novels!
Well listen up, you hackers! My work WILL be completed! The world NEEDS a story about a giant clay woman that transforms chairs into knives and by gum–I’m going to give it to them!
(Thanks go to my friend Matt for helping me fix my site. And to Kim: try harder next time, I guess!) Continue reading →
This chapter was satisfying to write. I love it when I have no clue how I’m going to fix the mess I’m stuck with and then BAM–it hits me. Well, it wasn’t quite like that this time. More like sitting in my apartment for two days mulling over possible ideas and having them all slowly congeal into something amazing, but whatever! The garbage of the first draft has been transformed into glittering gems! Now the climax can truly begin.
To ease you into the following, thrill-packed chapters I have enclosed a less-exciting picture of five floating continents firing laser beams at the lair of the Dark Brethren:
I got two more downloads on the first Abandonment Party today! That brings the total readers up to twelve. Oh baby, you know what that means: PRICE HIKE!
Let’s see; I have some complex calculations to make. There are millions of people that can read English, right? Then I factor in my book’s supply–being digital it is almost limitless. So, with a rate of demand at two per month, I project that in ten years my novel must be sold at a price of one cent.
In this chapter Dark is set to face off against his friend Mean in the last semi-final match of the “Two Lives to Play” tournament. As I stated before, something bizarre happened as I wrote the first draft on this scene.
You see, in my head I had it all planned: Just before the match Mean would find out that Gamemaster Kello had seen Dark’s face. It would be a tournament rule; to prove his armor wasn’t remote controlled or something. This would make Mean FURIOUS that Dark revealed his identity a stranger, since he’s refused to show his face to his friends–and even to her.
And I thought that would be an awesome conflict. Dark would step in the ring, clueless, and then Mean would just be standing there, silently RAGING. Then boom! The match would start and Mean would just knock Dark to the ground. She’d tear the ring apart with her magical fury, pinning him down with the rubble. Ooooh-it was going to be dramatic! She’d be crushing him and he’d be saying other dramatic things to get her to stop. What an amazing spectacle it would be!
But the unthinkable occurred: What I wanted to happen didn’t happen! Instead, I wrote a friendly match full of sportsmanship and fun. It’s as if the characters themselves subverted my will; acting on their own to shape the story. A hateful battle would go against the friendship I had built, so it just didn’t take place.
I think that forcing a confrontation wouldn’t have worked for the plot anyway. So thanks, imaginary characters! I’ll let you off easy–this time.
Well shoot. Besides reworking the end with Zenny I only had minor adjustments to this chapter. And yeah–I decided to cut her in-person appearance out for now. Matt begged me not to, but I know that sacrifices must be made. Don’t worry, man; if we ever get stranded in the tundra somewhere, you can count on me to decide who gets cannibalized first.
And besides, this omission will no doubt make the next chapter that much more hilarious. You’ll see! Continue reading →
A rousing holiday! A death in the family. Cousins, long-lost! Does any of that happen in this chapter? Of course it doesn’t. This stuff happened to me last week.
The death was my grandpa, Albert Smith. I won’t talk about it much here, but there’s something that I notice people thinking at funerals: “I wish I had more time to spend with him before he died.” I think it’s a natural thought. I don’t think it’s thought to dwell on, however. After all, when you love someone do you ever really stop to say “I’ve spent enough time with this person! They can die now.”
I know I don’t think that. Even if you sit down with the soon-to-be deceased and discussed everything on your mind you’d still be craving more when they’re gone. Now, does this have anything to do with my chapter, here? Hm, maybe it does. Then again, it could just be about two women smacking each other around and sitting in chairs. Continue reading →
I’m just going to outright say that I’m pleased with how Trisk’s conversation with Tenny turned out in this draft. It’s a romantic scene. And if I’m an authority on anything–it would be on romances that are troubled, awkward, unrealistic, or flat-out doomed.
You see, although I am single I have experienced the quiet talks in the dark that frequently occur before a relationship begins. It’s one of the most memorable times, I think. And no matter how things end up with the other person, it is something I never forget.
Because it can be the start of something dream-like and wonderful. It can also be the death of your lofty expectations.
Are you ready for more talking!? Are you ready to watch magical invertibrates roll around in numerous flames!? Yeah, I thought so!
In this chapter I use two locations from the first book: Stone Rory Refuge and Hilo Water Plaza. Like “Cot’s Bar” from before, these places were empty in the future. Desolate! Vacant! But now, to reward the three people that read the first story, I will reveal what these locations were like in the past! Yes, that’s right, Matt. No need to strain your imagination any longer. Brad his here to save you. Continue reading →
Kim, guess what!? Something in this chapter–taken from the first draft I wrote a year ago–JUST sort-of happened in the recent episode of Doctor Who. Kind of like how you saw one of your story ideas used in Lord of the Rings. But don’t worry; I have some fantastic advice for you to use when that sort of thing happens. So DON’T erase your entire trilogy in a disappointed rage. I hope I caught you in time.
Alright, back to chapter ten. I decided to replace all the discussions with thrilling battles! What a shock. I took Jelk’s match from the first draft of chapter 9, along with Dark’s match from the first draft of chapter 11. I will find time for the characters to sit down and talk soon, I swear. Continue reading →