As I said last week Kim already has a new chapter ready to go! I must honor her effort with quick blog posts. But first here’s a summary:
After Mackaba’s attack, Agent Tramania finds Mean and nurses her back to health. When Tramania goes to tell Darrow and Trisk what happened, Trisk tricks Tramania into taking them to where Mean is.
Whew. It’s a good thing I don’t have to say any of this out loud. How did this book turn into tongue twister hour?
Anyway, Trisk whisks Mean away to a hidden tower for some training. They ascend to higher floors by focusing on different emotions to activate the hex doors leading upward. This also gives Mean a chance to tell her thrilling backstory!
Kim found the time to critique chapter ten. Then, JUST to get back at me for complaining how slow she is, she finished eleven as well! How dare she! I mean, fantastic!
So let’s hurry through this. Here’s the summary of the chapter first:
Mean, Dark, Trisk, and Darrow are contacted by the Jesian government. Lord Ley Tecker, specifically. Since Mean assumed that Dark WAS Tecker in a suit of armor, she is now horrified that Dark led her on.
Mean runs off in a rage through a hex door. She arrives at the abandoned hotel she’s been using as a garage and home. It is there that Mackaba ambushes her with his new odd-water-based powers. Continue reading →
In this chapter the point of view changes. Everything before this has been set on the planet “Overland” with Mean and her friends. Now the setting switches to Lord Ley Tecker’s perspective on the planet “The Eye.” The narrative follows him from his home underground all the way to his place of work on the top of a cliff citadel.
Tecker is going to vote, much like a senator does, on a bill. It will re-establish communications between the two planets.
This is also the first chapter where Kim’s email complains about the story itself. She tells me ‘nothing happens until the end.’ Kim says there are no stakes and Tecker’s goal to ‘go vote’ is super lame.
I thought she was wrong at first. I argued that if the vote passes, then Mean would know for sure that Dark is NOT Tecker and from there the stakes are set.
But then I realized something. I used to complain about this situation ALL the time on the ‘Mark Reads’ blog. On his site, when we were reading the Harry Potter books, there was a chapter called The Ministry of Magic. In it, Harry picks up a letter from the title location. That’s it. I remember typing a comment that the entire chapter was just people walking through a massive office building for pages and pages. “Ooh! Look at the magic airplanes deliver messages to cubicle workers!” Boring.
Well guys I have great news: The cover for Abandonment Party is complete! Now all I have to do is wait ten more years for Kim to finish critiquing my chapters! Zounds! I’d better get the blog entry started!
First off, I have to admit something to Kim: You told me that using ‘less -ing words’ would help my writing and it did. So instead of “She entered the room, kicking the dog aside,” I’ve been putting “She entered the room and kicked the dog aside.”
Zounds! No more mixing tenses! I’ve SEEN the LIGHT!
In this chapter Tome reveals the horrible truth about Droldragia and the wicked monster that was sealed within. Only one man can venture back into the zone to face the beast! That’s right! It’s Darklord! And just to make sure I know it, Kim has written his name in the margin of her critique countless times!
Yes, every time I call him “Dark” in the narration Kim reprimands me with a note that reads “Darklord.” I still don’t see a problem with calling characters by their nicknames but Kim got this idea somewhere and she is NOT letting me forget it.
But let me get to the critique highlights. Kim hasn’t sent me a new chapter in a while and I don’t want her to get scared off by my endless whining. Continue reading →
As we reach chapter three I see that Kim seems to have little problem with Tome and his long monologues of exposition. He explains everything about how magic works and Kim doesn’t get furious with me at all! Of course I’d like to attribute it to the fact that I saved the information until after the reader was hungry enough to digest it.
But we aren’t here to discuss what I did right now are we? Let the literary spankings begin! Continue reading →
In this chapter Mean and Dark meet Mackaba. He’s an enraged police officer that has something in common with my friend Kim: They both start off calm, but if something sets them off–watch out!
Ha,ha, I may joke around about Kim’s harshness, but let it be known that I’m the one that invited it upon myself. It’s just like those anime shows where the friendly rivals duel. They’re always saying “I won’t accept anything less than your best!” And I know that in order for my writing to improve it must be forged in the flame of a thousand blazing Ka-me-ha-me-has!