Short chapter; I think it’s the perfect time to answer some mail from my fans. What do you mean I tried this before and it didn’t work!? Nonsense! Look, here’s a message from the princess of Hyrule:
Curses! I can’t think of an intro again. What am I supposed to put here!?
I do have a fascinating list of fictional teleportation devices, but that goes AFTER the chapter.
I suppose I could answer mail from my millions of fans––but I can’t find any letters! What’s wrong with you guys!? Are you intimidated by my “e-presence?” Is it because I forgot to put my address up on the site? Is it because you only exist in my imagination?
That’s it! Imagination! That gives me an amazing idea! I’ll try to put this plan into action the next time I post.
It’s December again! That means it’s time for the holidays! Who has time for writing stories? After all, I have too many presents to beg for. And it takes forever to decorate my apartment with the two thousand paper snowflakes I collected from children while working at the daycare.
No, what am I thinking!? I must find time to write! I MUST! But I need some extra motivation this time of year. And you know what motivates me to write? Besides the endless fame and millions of fans, that is. Yes, that’s right! I need to look at other stories for inspiration! Fiction! For instance, I just went through my comic collection again. There’s noting like watching Superman “wrassle Metallo for the umpteenth time” to get the creative vibes going.
Not wanting to gorge myself on one medium, I went to see a film, too. It was the third part of the Hunger Games trilogy. And you want to know what I thought of it? Are you ready for my own in-depth Mockingjay: Part 1 review?
I went to my cousin Kaydee’s wedding two weekends ago. I usually think weddings are dull, but at least it wasn’t another funeral, right? And I do have fun seeing my bizarre family. The only annoyance I have is hearing the same thing that every unwed person gets asked at a wedding: “So when are YOU going to get married!?”
And someone ALWAYS asks. It doesn’t matter that I say I want to be single. I also haven’t had a date in years. And yet family members always bug me about it. I can endure it, though. But I feel that I need to help out other singles that may be more sensitive to such demands. So I’ll start by telling you married people that asking “when are you going to get married” isn’t always an encouraging thing to say.
Yes, I am speaking to married people now! I know it is difficult for you to understand; after all, marriage has somehow worked for you. But that is your reality; us singles may not have the experiences you do. For instance I heard an amusing story at the wedding. My cousin said she didn’t like her future husband when she first met him. She said he kept asking her out and she refused. But she finally gave in! Oh ho! And of course she learned to love him after many persistent advances! Ha,ha,ha! What a nice story! It must always turn out like that, right?
No it doesn’t. And rejection paints quite a different picture. Where the married person’s persistence is seen as sweet in retrospect, there is a version of the story where that persistence failed. And when it fails the same persistent actions are labeled as “obsessive,” or “weird.”
So you can perhaps glimpse why the “JUST KEEP TRYING!” advice doest fly. But what’s that? You still can’t grasp the situation? Let me attempt to visualize it for you, marriage-lover; let me attempt to show you the reality of failure. Imagine your spouse for a moment. And take all those fanciful stories of how “things just worked out” and toss them all in the trash. Imagine what would have happened if your spouse rejected you. No chance of reconciliation–they just decide to give up and leave.
But it doesn’t end there, not when we have this wonderful online world. Because you get to watch as they marry someone else. As they go on to say how wonderful their lives are; how blessed they must be to have met such a person! A person that isn’t you. And then you get to watch as they have the children you wanted to have. Am I making sense? Have you pictured it well? Well just imagine it happening again! And again. And again. And how infuriating it is––after all that––to have to hear someone ask “Well why haven’t you gotten married yet!?”
I realize that it’s difficult for a marriage-lover to visualize this. Because another thing I hear at weddings is “I can’t imagine what my life would be like without him/her.” They admit it right there: “I can’t imagine.” And if you can’t imagine a different perspective than your own, well, I suppose you shouldn’t be telling other people how to live their lives now should you?
And that’s all I can ask: that you try to put things in perspective. That’s what I’m doing every time I attend a wedding, after all! I try to imagine marriage as something beneficial for the people getting “joined,” even if I don’t believe that it is the path I should personally take.
Now let’s get this chapter started! I wish I could tie in my rant with the story somehow, but it’s probably just about monsters fighting again! 😉
Happy Halloween, to whomever discovers this blog! Did you take a wrong turn on the internet, traveler? Were you looking for some innocent fun? Ha! How unfortunate for you; this sloppy first draft that you have discovered is a nightmare chapter of no repose!
COWER! As two hideous monsters battle each other to the death!
TREMBLE! As awkward exposition doesn’t really explain anything!
PEE YOUR PANTS! When I don’t end the chapter on the one cool line uttered!
THEN CLAW OUT YOUR OWN EYEBALLS as everything drags on with pointless dialog!
Oh, is that not enough to scare you? Well listen to this:
I had a cyst surgically removed last week! FROM MY BUTTOCKS! BWA, HA, HA, HA, HA! Pics after the break. Continue reading
Hm, I can’t really think of a cool intro. I guess I’ll get right to the chapter and save my commentary for afterward. After all, if I’m going to use up a lot of time I might as well use it thinking about the actual story––not some blog intro. Oh, wait, here’s a picture taken out of context from Tales of Xillia 2; I still have enough time to waste on that!
As I get further in this story I’m realizing that I enjoy having more characters around. In the first book I had––what? Nine characters that were the main focus? And Vornis didn’t show up until the end. Back then if I wanted something to happen I had to make it work with just those few.
But now–! Look at this! I have many more characters to use! So many possibilities! Take this chapter for example: I’m having someone familiar show up just to see what happens! And also because I was going to put him in earlier but forgot, ha,ha.
This is why I’ll never understand those stories where half the characters die. Don’t those writers like having options? You can always make a character leave if they aren’t working out. “Put him on a bus” as those trope guys like to say. Or in Tyle’s case he actually came back on a bus.
That reminds me: I really should make a “cast of characters” page or something. Don’t let me forget to do that, Matt. Continue reading
As the characters in my story split up into groups I have one thing I need to keep in mind: Are they getting along? Now, I don’t mean “are they all happy pals having fun?” What I’m saying is “are their interactions with each other interesting?”
You said it, Genis from Tales of Symponia! Just because you think Zelos is shallow, rude, and wears a peach vest doesn’t mean he’s bad for the story! A character in the right place can spice up the dialog for everyone. Of course, here in Abandonment Party 3, every character isn’t quite where they need to be yet; I’m still trying out different groupings. Does Jelk work well with Tenny and Darrow? If he does––great! If he doesn’t, well, I’ll erase all his lines in the next draft. I’ll strike him from the story! POW!
Or I’ll just stick him somewhere else. Now is the time for experimentation. Matt, don’t wait for the draft to end! If you think something isn’t working, you’d better tell me now! Should Vornis be with the others? Should Eon take Tenny’s place? Does Pinada need to come back to life and hang out with everyone for no reason!? TELL ME! Continue reading
I got a copy of Tales of Symphonia Chronicles for my birthday two months ago! I was excited to get this high-definition version for the PS3; my Gamecube with the original one doesn’t work anymore. And since I use the game’s music to inspire my GLORIOUS writings I thought it would be a good idea to play through again for even MORE inspiration!
Sure, this may LOOK like a schoolyard fight involving a young Mario, Sephiroth, and Sailor Moon, but it’s really quite sophisticated. It’s about the evils of discrimination and the, uh, duality of, like, something really important. Look, I’ll post more pictures when I get to the cool-looking characters, okay!?
I talked to my friend Kim a few days ago. She says she’s stuck on writing chapter six of her book. I keep telling her about my “put down any nonsensical idea you think of” method but I don’t think she has the hang of it yet. She says she wants to get it right the first time. Where’s the fun in that? But I can’t bear to see a friend in trouble so I looked online for the best advise about first drafts I could find. Quotes from the finest authors in all of history! Take a look at what I found, Kim:
“The first draft of anything is shit.” – Ernest Hemingway
This is the one that came up most. I call my first drafts crappy, but there’s still the glimmer of excellence within. A budding potential! Sorry, Ernest, but you’ve crossed the line this time. And stop swearing on my site!
“I don’t write a quick draft and then revise; instead, I work slowly page by page, revising and polishing.” – Dean Koontz
Wow, this guy sounds more your style, Kim. I’ve never read any of his novels, but they’re always next to Stephen King’s at the book store so they must be finished at least!
“No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else’s draft.” – H. G. Wells
Ha,ha, no kidding man! Some guy read your stuff and thought that it needed more Tom Cruise! Kim, hurry up and finish so I can tell you what to change!
“I hate first drafts, and it never gets easier. People always wonder what kind of superhero power they’d like to have. I wanted the ability for someone to just open up my brain and take out the entire first draft and lay it down in front of me so I can just focus on the second, third, and fourth drafts.” – Judy Blume
Stop daydreaming about fantastic scenarios and get to writing, you slacker! I want another Fudge sequel!
“I don’t fiddle or edit or change while I’m going through that first draft.” – Nora Roberts
Good advice. Now edit your quote so you don’t include three verbs that mean the exact same thing.
“Normally I do a first draft using pen and paper, and then do my first edit when I type it onto my computer.” – J. K. Rowling
Oh, brilliant, J.K. I can see why you’re the queen.
That’s all for now, Kim; I’ll look up more quotes later. Ponder these authors’ sagely words and tell me how it goes.