Warcraft and Abandonment Party 3: Chapter 29 (First Draft)

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Looks like the first draft of Abandonment Party 3 is done! You know what that means! Time to talk about Warcraft! That’s “Warcraft” the 2016 film–and like my books it also takes years of delays to see the light of day. So let’s discuss it! Or just watch me discuss it with myself!

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Monsters from Nowhere and Abandonment Party 3: Chapter 28

First Draft

Today I want to talk about something that can happen at the end of a story. Well, it mostly happens at the end of video game stories. It might have happened to you: the final stage has been conquered! The antagonist that you’ve been chasing for days has been defeated! But zounds–what’s this!? A new foe has appeared! Some giant creature that no one ever expected! Some horror that wasn’t even hinted at before or ever explained!

Over at TV Tropes it’s called “Diabolus ex Nihilo.” Or “Giant Space Flea from Nowhere” if you’re talking about a video game.

So let me give you an example from a video game. Of course. Like I’d read a book. Here come spoilers for Final Fantasy IX. (Now out on Steam. Dang, I should have put it on my birthday list.)

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The Force Awakens and Abandonment Party 3: Chapter 26 (First Draft)

First Draft

In this case “the force” is my next awesome chapter. True, the entire world was worried that I had lost the will to write it. My friend Matt even asked me if I had something called “writer’s block.” How silly! Not only did I have Christmas to deal with, but my brother got into a bit of an accident. He NEEDED me to be there for him these past couple of months, and family–family always comes first.

It had NOTHING to do with me getting Xenoblade Chronicles X, Tales of Zesteria, Yoshi’s Wooly World, and a new Gameboy.

It MIGHT have had a little to do with getting Fallout 4 though.

Wait, wait, first I DO need to say something about The Force Awakens. Earlier last year I made a post about it, and how it seemed as though the seventh film would be just a repeat of the originals. I HAD NO IDEA it would really be EXACTLY like the first movie. This is the world I live in, future historians: Where the masses CRAVE the same story to be told over and over! I mean, why even put up a “Spoilers” tag if I want to discuss this movie!? You’ve seen it, one way or another! Woo! I’d go over all the similarities but in this case it would be way faster to just tell you what managed to be different:

  • The new Death star got the spread gun power-up from Contra and fires three shots.
  • One stormtrooper finally realizes that his gun always misses, tosses it down, and beats up someone while using a lightsaber-deflecting baton.
  • A different stormtrooper realizes that he is a bad guy and decides to be one of the story’s protagonists instead.
  • The new droid in this movie, BB-8, uses a Dhaston orb as its main method of locomotion. Congratulations, Tyle: at some point your dad’s company will be selling self-balancing roller balls to galactic robotics manufacturers!

But the rest was the same! Can you imagine? Anyway, I did get to see one great film this winter. That’s right:

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My brother got it for me. He also wrote all over it. But who cares!? Frieza has been resurrected with the dragon balls! Goku must face him once more! CAN he overcome his might!? The wicked space tyrant has powered up a bit since the last cosmic battle, but you know our favorite Saiyan has been honing his skills as well!

And now that I’m talking about MY favorite series it’s totally okay for a movie to recycle the same villain, hero, plot devices, characters, and ending!

Chapter twenty-six, begin! Continue reading

Inspirational Writing Music and Abandonment Party 3: Chapter 25 (First Draft)

First Draft

 

Things don’t always go as planned during the first draft. Mackaba, the lovable criminal that was supposed to stay out of these chapters, has decided to step up and interfere with what I–the almighty author–had in store. This has lead to a confrontation: Both in the story and with me.

Well, sort of. You know I use music to motivate my writing: it’s all set up ahead of time on iTunes. It’s all in a list, in an order that matches the outline of events that I keep in my brain.

But the new Mackaba event in this chapter is not on the list! What shall I do!? Write without music? I suppose I could. But why do that when I can waste time poking around on the internet instead? It’s justified. So that’s what I did; I drove all the way to the record store to see what the great contemporary artists of the world have to offer.

Ha,ha,ha of course I didn’t do that. I played some pretty amazing video games this year, so let’s head over to YouTube and find the best CLIMACTIC music from all of them!

And if you’re at work right now–all the better! Just play these songs and stare at your computer screen with burning intensity. Type really fast too and your boss will assume you’re getting stuff done since such worthy tunes are playing. You’ll probably get a raise. No need to thank me.

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Super Post 100 and Abandonment Party 3: Chapter 24 (First Draft)

First Draft

Wow it’s my one hundredth post! I wasn’t going to say anything but then I remembered that’s what blogs are for. I’ll try to keep this humble, though.

First, I want to thank my billions of fans. You guys–gosh, I’m tearing up–you guys really get me. You understand! You know that I’m the kind of person that doesn’t like to feel pressured. That’s why you never bombard me with messages down in the comments! Or speak to me at all! And you know I’m a frugal guy, too; that’s why you all enjoy my work without paying me much money!

Thank you! As a reward for your understanding I made another fake Hearthstone card. This one is Parlay:

 

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Once again I forgot to write down where the picture was from but man–I can’t believe there’s a real guy out there with hair THAT poofy. He even looks all bitter and calculating.

The effect I came up with even reflects his body’s static nature. I made it paladin since it would seem most useful there. You could cast Equality and then bump the health back up to five. Not to mention all the damage from minion attacks you could just undo. The downside is that any buffs like Blessing of Kings would be erased as well.

Speaking of things that are probably just going to be erased: let’s continue with the story! Continue reading

Character Cards and Abandonment Party 3: Chapter 23 (First Draft)

First Draft

A few days ago I learned that Steve, the tenant in the apartment below mine, finally visited my site! That means I have ONE more fan! That makes, like, two fans! Maybe even three! And it only took me ninety-nine posts!

Yes, that’s right! The next post will be number 100! But how can I celebrate? By giving myself some made-up award? No! By making pretend Hearthstone cards depicting characters from my stories! True, I was going to do it anyway–and I just found out this was post ninety-nine–but who cares! The celebration is still on!

SPOILERS if you haven’t read my first, second, or third books. Yeah, I know the third book isn’t even done yet but that’s too bad. FIRST CARD:

Mean Card

The idea is that her gravity powers make things either heavier or lighter. And this effect would be a hilarious way to punish rush decks full of Leper Gnomes and cheap low-mana cards. It wouldn’t be TOO powerful if you stacked your deck full of higher cost minions, however. Dr. Boom would only come out one turn earlier. Unless you used the coin to get Mean out on turn four, that is.

But who cares about that–look at this picture! Why in the world am I trying to find an artist for my characters when I can just go search Google images instead!? Someone named “A. Teller” altered that photo and I like the way they think! Look: there’s even a floating police car in the right corner.

MORE CARDS:

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Abandonment Party 3: Chapter 17 (First Draft)

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Now this one is a long chapter. And not because of some epic, singular, event–no; it’s because there are still so many groups of characters out there! What do I do with them? How do I make them all work for the story? First draft isn’t the time to figure that out! I just have to shove it all in.

And after all this there are STILL characters that aren’t where they need to be. Now is this a problem? No. I’ll figure out the correct pacing the next time around. It will be super-fun. I can cut characters; I can ‘consolidate’ events. But for now––enjoy! It may be a disorganized mess, but it’s still entertaining! Right, Pascal from Tales of Graces?

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Abandonment Party 3: Chapter 15 (First Draft)

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Curses! I can’t think of an intro again. What am I supposed to put here!?

I do have a fascinating list of fictional teleportation devices, but that goes AFTER the chapter.

I suppose I could answer mail from my millions of fans––but I can’t find any letters! What’s wrong with you guys!? Are you intimidated by my “e-presence?” Is it because I forgot to put my address up on the site? Is it because you only exist in my imagination?

That’s it! Imagination! That gives me an amazing idea! I’ll try to put this plan into action the next time I post.
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Abandonment Party 3: Chapter 14 (First Draft)

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It’s December again! That means it’s time for the holidays! Who has time for writing stories? After all, I have too many presents to beg for. And it takes forever to decorate my apartment with the two thousand paper snowflakes I collected from children while working at the daycare.

No, what am I thinking!? I must find time to write! I MUST! But I need some extra motivation this time of year. And you know what motivates me to write? Besides the endless fame and millions of fans, that is. Yes, that’s right! I need to look at other stories for inspiration! Fiction! For instance, I just went through my comic collection again. There’s noting like watching Superman “wrassle Metallo for the umpteenth time” to get the creative vibes going.

Not wanting to gorge myself on one medium, I went to see a film, too. It was the third part of the Hunger Games trilogy. And you want to know what I thought of it? Are you ready for my own in-depth Mockingjay: Part 1 review?

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Abandonment Party 3: Chapter 7 (First Draft)

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I talked to my friend Kim a few days ago. She says she’s stuck on writing chapter six of her book. I keep telling her about my “put down any nonsensical idea you think of” method but I don’t think she has the hang of it yet. She says she wants to get it right the first time. Where’s the fun in that? But I can’t bear to see a friend in trouble so I looked online for the best advise about first drafts I could find. Quotes from the finest authors in all of history! Take a look at what I found, Kim:

The first draft of anything is shit.” – Ernest Hemingway

This is the one that came up most. I call my first drafts crappy, but there’s still the glimmer of excellence within. A budding potential! Sorry, Ernest, but you’ve crossed the line this time. And stop swearing on my site!

I don’t write a quick draft and then revise; instead, I work slowly page by page, revising and polishing.” – Dean Koontz

Wow, this guy sounds more your style, Kim. I’ve never read any of his novels, but they’re always next to Stephen King’s at the book store so they must be finished at least!

No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else’s draft.” – H. G. Wells

Ha,ha, no kidding man! Some guy read your stuff and thought that it needed more Tom Cruise! Kim, hurry up and finish so I can tell you what to change!

I hate first drafts, and it never gets easier. People always wonder what kind of superhero power they’d like to have. I wanted the ability for someone to just open up my brain and take out the entire first draft and lay it down in front of me so I can just focus on the second, third, and fourth drafts.” – Judy Blume

Stop daydreaming about fantastic scenarios and get to writing, you slacker! I want another Fudge sequel!

I don’t fiddle or edit or change while I’m going through that first draft.” – Nora Roberts

Good advice. Now edit your quote so you don’t include three verbs that mean the exact same thing.

Normally I do a first draft using pen and paper, and then do my first edit when I type it onto my computer.” – J. K. Rowling

Oh, brilliant, J.K. I can see why you’re the queen.

That’s all for now, Kim; I’ll look up more quotes later. Ponder these authors’ sagely words and tell me how it goes.

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