Abandonment Party 3: Chapter 11 (First Draft)


Hm, I can’t really think of a cool intro. I guess I’ll get right to the chapter and save my commentary for afterward. After all, if I’m going to use up a lot of time I might as well use it thinking about the actual story––not some blog intro. Oh, wait, here’s a picture taken out of context from Tales of Xillia 2; I still have enough time to waste on that!


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Abandonment Party 2: Chapter 9 (Second Draft)


Oh baby! This chapter has the new addition to the story that I’ve been waiting to add! And here it sits as an unrefined lump at the start of the draft! It’s really terrible! But I’m not worried; I have plenty of refined goodness going on after that.

Mean’s tournament match has been moved into this chapter, and I’ve gotten it to merge quite well with the original material. SUPER well. Only a couple more chapters and I’ll be past the chain-reaction of doom that I started by screwing with the match order. See, Kim? Changing the plot around after you’ve written a draft isn’t so bad. And the next time your story isn’t working, you can just gaze at this inspirational picture of me:

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Abandonment Party 2: Chapter 9 (First Draft)


I’ll be frank: the match that occurs in this chapter is going to be moved to a later one. In its place I’ll swap in a match from chapter 11. I don’t see any immediate problems arising from this change so I should be safe.

Once again, I’m not just switching these events around for fun: I believe that doing so will strengthen the story. It will also help the pacing of the chapters feel more natural. You’ll see what I mean in the notes. Continue reading

Abandonment Party 2: Chapter 8 (Second Draft)

APHeader2DA few of my friends might be wondering why I had my characters visit a bar. After all, I hate spending time in those smoke-filled cesspits. But the bar in my story is based off a particular bar that fascinated me: the bar at a place called “Noah’s Ark.”

It was an ship-shaped building in St. Charles Missouri, and oh look–I found a picture on Google. That saves some time.ArkExterior

The restaurant on the first floor was interesting enough: there were stuffed animals behind glass cases and little giraffe-shaped stirring rods that they’d put in your drinks. But the bar on the second floor was what mystified me as a child.

Of course I was too young to be there when it was open. The only time I could see it was during the day while I waited to be seated with my parents at a table on the first floor. The bar area was vacant during the day, but for some reason I could just walk right up there. I could look at all the empty tables with the seats stacked on them, the long bar with the rows of glasses hanging above. And video games! They had Pac-man! Crystal Castles! Arkanoid! And no one playing them.

“Why would this great place be empty?” I would think to myself. It was a mystery, and I’d wonder what it was like when the adults were allowed in.

I would never see it occupied, though; the business was closed before I turned 21. The building was left unoccupied for years. It was torn down completely in 2007. The only pictures I can find now are from its ruined state:


ArkBar2So there you go. Mean and Dark’s visit to the empty bar in the present is a result of this memory. And their visit to the past is just the sort of thing that I wish I could do.
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