Time to update everyone with my progress on chapter 19 of the 4th draft of Abandonment Party 2! And, oh my, did Kim have problems with this one. In her notes she said I was trying to get too creative and artsy, and I might have hurt the story in my efforts to push the envelope.
I won’t tell you exactly how the chapter goes, but imagine something like this: Mean and her friends have received a vital clue about the destruction of the world. They are searching for a long-lost character that has important details. As the chapter begins I describe the location in exquisite detail. The characters discuss their surroundings with awe and excitement. Where is this person? What secrets will they learn?
Then surprise! Everything in the chapter turns out to be an illusion! Mean is actually dreaming! Or hypnotized! Nothing in the chapter is actually happening! You’re not going to learn anything! But isn’t that such a fun turn of events?
You said it, Sagi from Baten Kaitos Origins. Kim agreed with your outburst of disgust! She told me that I shouldn’t set up a surprise that is WORSE than what the reader is expecting. Her text messages the day she read the chapter weren’t quite so dramatic, though. “Boo” is the worst she gave me. But it was still a boo. She explained that the setup was WAY too involved for a crappy payoff.
So! I have added the payoff of actually meeting the lost character AND have made an interesting bit of info to discover so that the reader doesn’t feel cheated. I have also found a way to keep some of the creative twist at the end. Kim wasn’t against the twist itself, just that it was executed improperly.
Adjusting this twist will require a BIT more work in the next chapter. But good news: Kim loves the next chapter mostly as-is. The work load shouldn’t be as much next time. 😅
Ah, I almost forgot to write a poem. Although I’ve pretty much explained everything about the chapter already. 😑
She awaits in the town of antiquated arms;
the streets laden with snow and shaggy cart-pullers.
Then there’s this amazing twist where you’re not really;
reading a poem but it’s another AI picture of a book character.
Hey, the AI’s picture looks passible this month. THIS version of Mean has the correct number of fingers AND a bellybutton! Zounds, should I try all the characters again? That Tyle from last month still haunts my nightmares. 😂
See you next time!