Chapter 34: Draft 4: Complete!

I want you to see me.

We should be friends.

Don’t close yourself off.

Or the party ends.

This chapter contains one of the first scenes of Abandonment Party that I ever thought up. In my phone notes, the idea is written out right there with the date of 7/31/07. Almost twenty years ago. 😵

And almost everything in the first two books is a result of this ONE idea. I thought of this ONE thing and worked backwards from there. A chain of me asking ‘why does that happen?’ over and over again until I reached page one of Abandonment Party.

When Kim got to this part, I was excited for her to witness the moment. And of course—OF FREAKIN’ COURSE—she wanted me to change it. 😭

That was draft three, however. Now that I’m almost done with draft four, I’ll see what she thinks of all the improvements I’ve made.

I should probably stop talking about it though. I’m getting close to spoilers.

But, just for fun, I’ll show you a few of my other notes that AREN’T spoilers. Because they already happened in the first book. (Or won’t happen.) I’m also quite confused about most of them. 😅

Phone notes about Abandonment Party:

• 7/17/07 – Slambron, creture <sic> with stubby, pointed tentacles on each hand. After he grasps his prey, the fingers harden so they can’t escape.

Slambron? Sounds like a character description that might have inspired Vornis. The ‘hardening fingers’ might be an early version of vein. Who knows. I obviously don’t.

• 8/21/07 –Trisk-the way it moved, it did any thing I wanted. Dutiful, efficient, emotionless workers. Everything I’ve always wanted in a man… Didn’t know if I should be scared or fall in love.

I assume this is dialog I thought up for Trisk? But why? What is she talking about? Odd water? Hex door robots? Nanomachines? I have no idea.

• 8/8/07 – Think for a second, Mean—he survived a delta grade blast. Who’s to say he couldn’t have lived through whatever killed the people that lived here?

What in the world? Delta grade blast? Had I been reading too many comic books?

Oh, who am I kidding!? I can’t match the poetry you’d find in the average Superman book.

Back to my notes: the ‘blast’ victim seem to refer to Parlay. Did I have plans for him to get blown up somehow? If that’s true, I can’t believe it—that means I actually CUT OUT massive explosions from the story. 😲

• 9/10/07 – I’m not asking you to wallow in it: only acknowledge that it’s there – Trisk on hatred

Okay, finally: a line of dialog that’s in the finished work. This is the part where Trisk and Mean travel up Tenny’s training tower. They have to experience ‘hatred’ in order for the tower to take them up to the next floor.

I think I ended up using the word ‘dwell’ instead of ‘wallow’ though.

• 12/6/07 – How dare you leave me with this barren, dead world! Now, in my chains, your nightmare will be everlasting!

This looks like Hellzoo dialog. I think something similar is in the finished book, but, uh, less cheesy.

But then again, these are just notes. Things I jotted down while I was mopping or trying to fall asleep in bed.

It’s a good attitude to have. If you’re a writer, I think it’s okay if your notes are hokey or dumb: you can always flesh them out later when writing ‘for real.’ Or just forget about them entirely. Like Slambron’s fingers. 🤨

Reviews: (Spoilers for Superman and Lois finale, and 〉l seasons 1-4.)

Yep, still watching Supernatural. Before I get to those nutty bros, I MUST talk about the ending to:

Superman and Lois – The final season. Superman dies twice. Bizarro completes his transformation into Doomsday. And Luthor realizes his final form: his chin shaved hairless and a body suited up for destruction.

The final fifteen minutes of the finale has Clark narrating the last thirty years of his life. It must be seen to be believed. I can’t even write anything cool about it because the narration itself is better than anything I would come up with here. Just go watch it if you want to be amazed. (Great review, I know.)

Supernatural – I have finished season two, AND season three. And started season four. I won’t list the episodes because I forgot the titles and too much happened. I will just list the BIG events.

Sam dies – The yellow-eyed demon trapped Sam in a deadly murder game with other psychics. Sam is killed and the winner gets the magic Colt pistol.

Man, I want a show about Colt. Not only did he forge a pistol on the night of Haley’s comet, but he constructed a miles-wide iron pentagram beneath the Earth to seal up a gateway to Hell.

Also, the ‘murder game’ winner goes to open the gateway to Hell. Yes, the final episode of season two is ‘All Hell Breaks Loose.” I guess I did remember one title after all. 😅  The Colt turns out to be the key to a hellgate, and the winner of the psychic battle royal unlocks it. But then—! Daddy Winchester comes back out of Hell to save the day! YES!

The yellow-eyed demon is killed and I never found out exactly WHAT his goal was.

Dean makes a devil deal to bring Sam back to life – Yes, the crossroads demon is back. Sheesh, there must be like a hundred lunchboxes full of stuff buried at that crossroads.

Dean only has ONE YEAR to live. And yes, this problem is the new storyline for season three. A short season. 18 episodes compared to the usual 22. Wonder what happened. 🤨

Season 3 Begins; the Seven Deadly Sins Appear – Yes, it’s true! King, Diane, and Escanor too! They all show up! Zounds!

Ha,ha, no. It’s a group of demons: Pride, Lust, etc. Pretty good start, and even the usual gags about Seven are nicely done.

And AT LAST we learn: Azazel is the name of the yellow-eyed demon – Yes, after being unnamed for TWO seasons ‘the demon’ gets a name. (He is also a character in the legendary game The Binding of Isaac.)

I forgot who tells Sam and Dean this info. I think it’s Ruby. Oh yeah, we get a new character for season three.

Ruby – I was staring at this girl, trying to figure out where I’d seen her before. And since I can’t risk looking it up because of spoilers, I had to think for DAYS.

Then I got it: She’s Black Canary from Arrow! I guess she won’t be sticking around on this show too long, huh? Thankfully we get yet another female character guest starring:

Catwoman – Sorry, I can’t recall her name. It’s an alias anyway. But she’s a British thief that steals magical artifacts and sells them. She has no interest in fighting demons or evil, so it’s a lot of fun to see her interact with the brothers and Bobby.

I recognized this actress, too. I was at a loss, but then one day an ad for one of the fifty Walking Dead shows came on. She’s everyone’s favorite farmer’s daughter: Maggie.

And she is also torn apart by Hellhounds at the end of the season. It seems she made a devil deal too. 😭

Bobby – Bobby might as well be a part of the main cast at this point. He’s a weathered hunter that’s always helping out, and he’d be the main character on this show if not for the fact that he looks like a middle-aged trucker. Gotta keep those younger actors front and center!

I’m actually more scared that this character will die more than any of the others. 😅

The best episode of season 3 – Ah, that’s an easy one. It has to be the police station siege. A bunch of the Hell-released demons surround the place. Forgot what it’s called, but it’s wild from beginning to end.

The show even pulled a fast one on me. As the demons breached the doors and started pouring in I thought ‘That’s it! They’re done for! Good thing Bobby isn’t here!’

But then they use salt to trap the demons INSIDE while a recorded exorcism plays over the intercom system. Every demon is expelled from the host bodies all at once. Brilliant. A+ episode.

Dean dies – HA HA WHAT!? The brothers lose and they can’t think of a way to save Dean from the devil deal? He just gets torn apart by a Hellhound. Then I see him chained up in Hell, screaming in agony as the season ends.

Good thing I don’t have to wait to see what happens. With one of the main characters trapped in Hell, I was prepared for something stupid to resolve the situation.

Season four – What I got was something awesome. Or rather, someONE awesome.

Dean is dragged out of Hell by an angel. By this guy. Sorry for the crappy quality, but like I said: I can’t look up pictures because of spoilers. I had to use my phone while the TV was playing because if I dare to pause Netflix then my earbuds desynch. 😤

He even has a badass angel intro line: “I am the one that grasped you tight, and pulled you from perdition.”

See, Dean pops out of his grave with no idea why he’s back. He meets up with Bobby first, of course, and they get to trying to summon the entity that had rescued him. So ol’ Bobby sets up a barn full of sigils and wards to fight off any type of demonic force that might show up. Then they use a spell to bring forth ‘Castiel.’ Little did they know that an angel would walk in.

Well, I knew it would happen. As all good Christians know, any name that ends with ‘el’ is an angelic name. (Dean learns the name from a mystic earlier. She gets her eyes burned out for daring to look upon his holy form.)

Although I’ve only seen a few episodes of season four, I can already tell this guy is a great addition. Dean’s lack of faith his now being challenged by an angel of the Lord that pops in every day.

And episode three was a time travel episode! We finally get to see WHY Dean’s mom made the devil deal in the first place!

Wild stuff. And now Lillith is trying to free Lucifer!? The apocalypse is on the way!? Guys, slow down! There are TWELVE seasons left! Save some of this for later, yeah?

Ah, I almost forgot. We still haven’t seen Spring-heeled Jack. That’s a seasonal arc right there. 😆

Okay, enough reviews. Have a great Christmas everyone! 🎄