Kim Roasts Abandonment Party: Epilogue (The Surface is Glass)

I suppose with this epilogue Kim’s edits are all done. Good work, Kim! I’ll see you for the sequel!

Kim also has no major qualms with the ending, so let’s get started with her FINAL notes.


Hardpan city has been destroyed. Mackaba crawls through the wreckage and rain, dejected and defeated. He realizes that the Lord Leys aren’t coming back, and that he has been abandoned.

A man reveals his presence to Mackaba, a man inside a mobile glass cube. He relates to Mackaba’s situation, and proclaims how lucky Mackaba is to meet him: He is the hero Pinada. Continue reading

Kim Roasts Abandonment Party: Chapter 25

Only a couple chapters left! I tell ya, Kim’s no-holds-barred critiques are taking my writing to a whole new level!

But before we move on I’d like to revisit my little discussion about plans from the previous post. Specifically, how much fun it is to have the hero with no plan defeat the villain who has an elaborate one. In fact, I found a discussion on reddit the other day where people were celebrating this very thing:

One Piece: Chapter 974 – Official Release Discussion from OnePiece

It was in the One Piece forum, where people were discussing chapter 974. Yes, there are that many chapters. And in this chapter the protagonist, Luffy, shows up to ruin the villains’ plan. But Luffy never has a plan. He just runs ahead and starts wrecking things. And I love it. It happened like this in Dragon Ball, too. That’s probably why I don’t give my protagonists plans; I think it’s hilarious when the meticulous villain is dumbfounded by some schmuck that shows up with a bunch of improvised nonsense.

And I’m glad that other people love that way of storytelling, too. Why, just look at these wise quotes from the thread:

  • “Everyone has a plan until Luffy punches them in the face.”


  • “Ki-woo, you know what kind of plan never fails? No plan at all. No plan. You know why? If you make a plan, life never works out that way.”

This right here is how I live my life.

  • “The enemy can’t know what I am doing if I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Faultless logic.

  • “He didn’t follow Snart’s 4 rules of making a plan: Make the plan; execute the plan; expect the plan to go of the rails; throw away the plan.”

This line is spoken by Captain Cold from The Flash, and I love quoting it. I usually get the last line wrong, though.

  • “Do you think Cairbou has the rest of the prisoners hiding in his body?”

Uh, whoops, not sure what that one means. But enough fooling around! On to Kim’s edits! Continue reading