A short chapter, but Kim still has a few good ideas to talk about. Including one idea of hers that I ignored from the previous chapter, ha,ha.

But first, here’s the summary:

After the confrontation in the Pinada wing of the Brinkland National Museum, Mean and her buddies use the hex door A.I. to search for Parlay’s house. They eventually find a promising result: a run-down mansion. The group pops on over.

Mean reveals that she can use one of Tenny’s arts to fly now, and she zooms across the garden with Dark. The two have a bit of a talk where Mean promises to reveal the secret of her origin. Of course she doesn’t get the chance since they’re interrupted by Darrow. Man, I hate it when that happens in OTHER stories but I’m sure I have a really good reason for delaying it.

The mansion, however, is locked. Forcing the door open will only bring doom upon them. So of COURSE the only option is to go to the Hardpan Police Department to pick up a sample of Parlay’s D.N.A. that was obtained with the help of a cryogenic root beer mug. What? I set it up in the prologue! It makes perfect sense!

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Time for a new chapter! Confrontation in Pinada Wing! Kim, you’re killing it; I’m getting one done a week now! Keep it up!

Now for the summary:

Mean and Trisk have been training at Tenny’s Tower for one month. Parlay, after watching Darrow through a hex door camera, realizes that Tome is actually a spirit. As we all well know, spirits can be trouble, so Parlay decides to call Darrow and his friends together so he can determine who this mystery person is.

Parlay meets them in the Pinada Wing of the Brinkland National Museum. (Kim will probably get upset now because I don’t mention the museum’s name in the chapter at all.) He exposes Tome as the Traitor Sing, a criminal that caused a comet to crash into the planet. Darrow defends Tome and Parlay smashes the crown that Tome was using to communicate. As Parlay attacks Darrow himself, Tome possesses Parlay for a brief moment to stop him. Tome speaks through Parlay’s body and apologizes for not telling him the truth. Darrow forgives him. Parlay escapes.
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Kim’s rampage of critiquing continues! She’s ahead of me at this point, on chapter 15. I’d better get to it, starting with the summary:

“As the Lords Ley make contact with Parlay, Mean and Trisk continue to ascend Tenny’s Tower for training.” Yeah, this will be a short one.

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As I said last week Kim already has a new chapter ready to go! I must honor her effort with quick blog posts. But first here’s a summary:

After Mackaba’s attack, Agent Tramania finds Mean and nurses her back to health. When Tramania goes to tell Darrow and Trisk what happened, Trisk tricks Tramania into taking them to where Mean is.

Whew. It’s a good thing I don’t have to say any of this out loud. How did this book turn into tongue twister hour?

Anyway, Trisk whisks Mean away to a hidden tower for some training. They ascend to higher floors by focusing on different emotions to activate the hex doors leading upward. This also gives Mean a chance to tell her thrilling backstory!

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Kim found the time to critique chapter ten. Then, JUST to get back at me for complaining how slow she is, she finished eleven as well! How dare she! I mean, fantastic!

So let’s hurry through this. Here’s the summary of the chapter first:

Mean, Dark, Trisk, and Darrow are contacted by the Jesian government. Lord Ley Tecker, specifically. Since Mean assumed that Dark WAS Tecker in a suit of armor, she is now horrified that Dark led her on.

Mean runs off in a rage through a hex door. She arrives at the abandoned hotel she’s been using as a garage and home. It is there that Mackaba ambushes her with his new odd-water-based powers. Continue reading →

In this chapter the point of view changes. Everything before this has been set on the planet “Overland” with Mean and her friends. Now the setting switches to Lord Ley Tecker’s perspective on the planet “The Eye.” The narrative follows him from his home underground all the way to his place of work on the top of a cliff citadel.

Tecker is going to vote, much like a senator does, on a bill. It will re-establish communications between the two planets.

This is also the first chapter where Kim’s email complains about the story itself. She tells me ‘nothing happens until the end.’ Kim says there are no stakes and Tecker’s goal to ‘go vote’ is super lame.

I thought she was wrong at first. I argued that if the vote passes, then Mean would know for sure that Dark is NOT Tecker and from there the stakes are set.

But then I realized something. I used to complain about this situation ALL the time on the ‘Mark Reads’ blog. On his site, when we were reading the Harry Potter books, there was a chapter called The Ministry of Magic. In it, Harry picks up a letter from the title location. That’s it. I remember typing a comment that the entire chapter was just people walking through a massive office building for pages and pages. “Ooh! Look at the magic airplanes deliver messages to cubicle workers!” Boring.

But Egads! Have I done the same thing!? Am I a giant hypocrite!? Continue reading →

Well guys I have great news: The cover for Abandonment Party is complete! Now all I have to do is wait ten more years for Kim to finish critiquing my chapters! Zounds! I’d better get the blog entry started!

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First off, I have to admit something to Kim: You told me that using ‘less -ing words’ would help my writing and it did. So instead of “She entered the room, kicking the dog aside,” I’ve been putting “She entered the room and kicked the dog aside.”

Zounds! No more mixing tenses! I’ve SEEN the LIGHT!

Thank you, Kim. Now, on to the chapter. Continue reading →

The monster Hellzoo has been vanquished. The main antagonist, Parlay, has appeared. There’s only one thing for our heroes to do: Chill out at a water park for no reason!

So come inside as Kim aims to correct my delinquent writing behavior. I welcome it, but what have I done to incur her wrath this time? Continue reading →

It’s been a while so I’ll jump right into the fray. My friend Kim has continued her quest to edit my book, and these are the notes that she left for me in chapter five.

First we have Captain Ecks arrive at the pyramid via helicopter where he meets up with a mysterious stranger on the roof. Continue reading →